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I was stung by The Boyfriend Sweater Curse (and I don't even have a boyfriend!)


In the knit and crochet community it is a well known superstition that if you knit your boyfriend a jumper they will break up with you, either while you are knitting, or shortly after you are done. I've seen it happen to many people. Knitting takes a long time, so the relationship may not be the way it was when you started. He might not appreciate how much work you put into the piece. He might put it in a hot wash and ruin it.

At first I thought I had cheated the system and got away with it. I thought I had beaten the curse. I had a loophole. I knit one for a boy friend not a boyfriend. Well, he's 25. I knit a jumper for a man friend. It took me two years but he's still hanging around me. I didn't think this particular curse was going to be a big problem for me. It's usually phrased as 'boyfriend' not 'partner', so as someone that rarely dates men, I wasn't even worried. I was far too confident and that was my downfall.

He didn't know anything about fibre art when I said I wanted to knit him something so we worked together to find something he liked. His two constraints were wanting something lightweight and wanting a fun design. The rest was up to me. I found some examples and he settled on a vintage jumper with an ice cream motif. 

My first mistake was trying to use yarn from stash that didn't fit. I had an Aran weight yarn that fit the pattern and enough of it that I tried to unply it into three strands of 4-ply and knit with that. It took forever and it was all for nothing when half way into the body I realised the tweed was starting to make it look dirty because the nubs were too big for the now 4-ply yarn. That was 20 hours of knitting down the drain.

On my second attempt I made an important change (other than buying a yarn that was actually 4-ply). I didn't follow the original pattern. It was from an old pattern book from the 70s and was clearly not checked for errors. There were just too many for it to be worth following. Besides, I couldn't put myself through knitting another plain back panel flat. I needed something in-the-round.

That's where my saviour the Flax Light comes in. It's been knit 15,000 times, I knew it wouldn't do me wrong. I would have to change my ice cream design slightly but it would be easy to duplicate stitch on.

I should have picked a DK weight pattern with a loose gauge. I didn't think how many hours would have to go into this item - I was too focused on making sure it was lightweight. In total, including the first attempt, it took me around 100 hours.

I sent it with tracked shipping so it would stay safe, I wasn't about to lose all that hard work in the post. The moment I got an email saying it had arrived and I could see it on his steps I got so excited. I knew when he got home from work he was finally going to have the projects I had poured our friendship into.

I got a message along the lines of 'thanks it's amazing and so are you'. I kept checking my phone waiting for a picture of him trying it on. I've waited exactly one week now. Nothing else besides that one message. In the time it took me to knit it, it's true that we have drifted apart, but I had hoped this would change something. I was wrong. I think it was too late. We're at different points in our life and aren't living close enough to visit anymore. He doesn't put the effort in anymore. I have to be the one to initiate the conversation these days. 

I also don't think he realised the brain power and number of hours I put into that thing. It was a 4-ply jumper! Those things don't knit up in an evening. I'd powered through the most boring sleeves after an eternity on a stocking stitch body. Now he might have just had a long day and didn't think that message through. Maybe he didn't realise how it came across. But it hurt.

Lesson learned. I need higher standards for who I knit for. Some people will not appreciate a handmade item and that's okay. This relationship may be strained, but I'm not going to ruin any others over something similar. And if I can fix thing with him I will. This is not worth losing someone forever over.




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